Before you join us, make sure you’re aware of our community agreements and standards. All Polyarmory events work under these guidelines, and they help us create the group and community vibe we love.
Don’t let the number of “rules” scare you! We rarely have even slight issues, but we have found that stating expectations in advance helps keep it that way.
Our Community Values
Polyarmory is intentionally and explicitly:
Intersectional
You can find information on intersectionality at IntersectionalJustice.org.
SOGI-affirming
SOGI stands for “Sexual Orientation Gender Identity”. We include relationship orientation in this as an affirmed orientation.
Pro-Feminism and Anti-Patriarchy
Anti-Rape-Culture
Anti-STI-or-Slut-Shaming
Anti-Ableism
Pro-Neurodiversity
Trauma Aware
Consent Positive
Conduct at Events
If you’re attending a Polyarmory event, make sure to read all of the guidelines for the group and any additional rules for specific events or locations.
It’s your job to make sure you know what you can or can’t bring, fee amounts, deadlines, park hours, fire rules, quiet hours, and/or whether a spicy conversation or “joke” is going over the line.
A Disclaimer about Sex and Kink
Polyarmory is not a sex-oriented event or a place to “hook up”. If you come expecting “adult fun”, you’re going to be disappointed, and you’re more likely to hear a Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog sing-a-long or a deep-dive on the early-2000’s internet at 2am than an orgy.
While we are kink-positive and sex-positive, we keep our campouts vanilla and PG-13. This is partially because it’s the vibe our group wants and partially because we typically camp at public sites with families next to us. Depending on the trip, we may also have older teens with their families at our events, and we want them to be comfortable too.
We ask that you please leave toys, sexy outfits, and fetish gear at home, and dress for a safe-for-work vanilla camping experience with friends.
Basic Etiquette
Don’t touch people or their things without asking.
Even a hug or hand on the shoulder if you don’t know someone is a bad move without permission, much less anything more intimate. If you don’t know whether someone likes receiving hugs, ask first, and otherwise keep your hands to yourself. That includes peoples’ chairs, food, drinks, and other belongings, too.
Clean up after yourself.
Put trash in the trash bag or can. If the communal trash bag is full, be awesome and take the bag to the dumpster. Keep your stuff contained in your area.
Don’t out your friends.
Many people can’t be out as polyamorous because of work, school, or child custody issues. Others simply choose not to be out (and that’s ok too!). Don’t blab outside of the group about who was at Polyarmory and don’t post pictures from the campout without asking everyone in it for consent first. If asked what the group is or where you know someone from, something vague like “a community group” or “friend of a friend” usually works well as an answer.
Alcohol and Substance Policy
We don’t have a problem with adults of legal drinking age having a few drinks at our events. We will probably be having a beer too! Just make sure that you are also following any location/venue-specific rules, are courteous, and are not getting heavily intoxicated. (If we can tell you’re inebriated, you may be asked to retire to your tent to sleep it off. Please don’t make us do that.)
We do not tolerate use or posession of other recreational intoxicants at events.
We have members with trauma due to drug/alcohol-related violence, addiction issues, and/or whose jobs could be affected if laws are broken. We put their health and safety first.
Violations
We understand that people make mistakes or misjudge situations, and so there’s no stigma around being offered a correction. If someone asks you to do or not do something, it’s not a big deal: just make sure to do as they ask and stop whatever the problem is.
Apologize, don’t argue, and remember that “No” and “You are making me uncomfortable” are complete sentences that don’t require further explanation to be respected. Consent violations of any kind are not tolerated in our spaces.
If an admin or event host has to repeat the request multiple times, you argue or become belligerent, or it’s otherwise clear that you are disregarding our rules and not acting in good faith, you may be asked to leave and/or may not be allowed to join us in the future. Some things may merit multiple warnings or discussions, while other severe violations may mean being asked to leave immediately.